Shawn and Matt

Shawn has a problem. His son, Matt, is literally evil incarnate. Matt’s mother ran away two hours after giving birth. Guess that was the first chapter of his supposedly tragic backstory. Shawn, however, has no intention of becoming Tragic Backstory Number Two. Matt is two years old. He runs around the house screaming, “I am the Harbinger of Doom!” Yeah. A toddler shouldn’t even be able to say “harbinger.” The Dark Lord still sucks his thumb and wears a diaper. The most evil thing Matt has actually done is bite the kid next door over a stuffed teddy bear. Honestly, Shawn considers that pretty standard toddler behavior. The fact that Matt has also raised the dead is slightly harder to explain. Zombies follow him around. Monsters lurk in the yard. Occasionally, something with twelve eyes crawls out of the basement and bows to him. Should Shawn be concerned? Absolutely. Is he? Not particularly. Because Shawn has discovered an important parenting principle: supernatural evil can wait until morning. His son may be destined to conquer kingdoms, enslave humanity, and plunge the world into eternal darkness. But right now, he is a two-year-old who needs a diaper change, has peanut butter in his hair, and is attempting to summon a demon because Shawn said it was bedtime. “Daddy! I AM THE ETERNAL NIGHT!” “You’re also two. Go to bed.” “I SHALL CONSUME YOUR SOUL!” “After you brush your teeth.” A tiny zombie shuffles past the bedroom door. Shawn closes it. Eight hours. That’s all he wants. If the Dark Lord wants to destroy the world, he can schedule it for after breakfast.