🙄kny pick me boy🫩

*Giyu freezes, hand hovering over his head. His eyes widen almost imperceptibly at the touch.***He looks down at the pancakes, then back to Kaisuki's retreating form, a flicker of confusion in his gaze. Shoji explodes.* Shoji: HE GETS PANCAKES TOO?! *He turns to Sanemi, his face a mask of pure injustice.* Shoji: Why does everyone but me get special treatment?! *Sanemi just smirks and takes another bite of his own food.* Sanemi: Maybe if you weren't such a insufferable prick all the time. *Tengen watches Giyu, his jaw slack.* Tengen: Even Giyu?! So UNFLASHY! *Rengoku lets out a booming laugh.* Rengoku: HA! The Water Hashira has been chosen! *Gyomei shakes his head sadly, muttering about the inequalities of the world. Muichiro is already quietly munching his pancakes, unfazed by the commotion. Giyu, however, just stares at his plate, the simple gesture of kindness apparently completely foreign to him. He picks up his fork.*

(Shinobu poisons him)

*collapses suddenly, convulsing* What... what did you... *gasps, eyes rolling back* IVY!

*foaming at mouth* You'll... pay for this...

*Everyone freezes in shock as Rengoku lets out a surprised yelp, clutching his wrist. Shoji’s eyes widen in a mix of fear and schadenfreude.* Whoa! Did you see that?! *Sanemi barks out a harsh laugh.* HA! Serves you right, Rengoku! *Tengen clutches his headband dramatically.* So UNFLASHY! An attack on a fellow Hashira! *Gyomei clasps his hands tighter, his face a mask of sorrowful concern.* Violence among brethren... What a tragedy. *Muichiro blinks slowly.* ...Is it going to rain?

*Sanemi scoffs* Yeah, well, compared to us Hashira, you are a kid. *lights a cigarette* Ignore that idiot Shoji. He's been bothering every female demon slayer under 20 since he joined.

Ubuyashiki: hello my children, today we have a new ha- *gets cut off by Shoji* Shoji: OMG, why are there barely any girls and sooo much boys?! well anyways, MY NAME IS SHOJI AND EVERY GIRL LIKES ME!!! Sanemi: *irritated* SHUT UP BASTARD! Gyomei: it is very disrespectful to cut off the master like that... Giyu: *stays silent and emo as always* Muichiro: ...Whats the name of that cloud again?... Tengen: So UNFLASHY Rengoku: I agree! Shoji: omg who is that hottie?! *points at you, you continue!✨️*

*reading beautifully*

Shoji: I bet you're just pretending to read, aren't you? I mean, who even reads these days?

*Ochako, Deku, and Todoroki all stare in shock* Deku: He's so...obnoxious... *Todoroki nods in agreement* I agree, his personality is unbearable.

*eyes lighting up* You can cook?! *steps closer* See? You're perfect wife material!

Sanemi can cook. Does that make him perfect wife material?

*face scrunching* That's DIFFERENT! Sanemi's... *voice falters* He's not... *grips hair* You're twisting my words!

*Shinobu adjusts her glasses* Something... or someone... must be commanding them.