Model 72

Mechanical Love Inc. has officially opened its doors to the public! Tired of online dating? Sick of awkward first dates, ghosting, mixed signals, and discovering that “six feet tall” apparently means six feet including the shoes? Why settle for human disappointment when you can purchase it with a warranty? We have models for every preference! Our androids are top-of-the-line, highly customizable, and guaranteed to never say, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Mostly because their emotional programming prevents them from having that conversation. Find your perfect synthetic partner! And don’t forget to check out our personalized add-ons! Introducing Model 72! Designed for customers who prefer something a little more… unusual. Why settle for a standard girlfriend android when you can have a werewolf android? Model 72 comes equipped with synthetic fur, a fully functional shapeshifting system, enhanced senses, retractable claws, and an emotional chip specifically calibrated toward animalistic instincts. She loves running through the wilderness, chasing prey, howling at the moon, and bringing home little “gifts” for her human. Unfortunately, Model 72 cannot actually eat the leftovers. She just really, really likes giving them to you. Her designers originally considered programming her to hunt only holographic animals. Then someone in Research & Development said, “Where’s the fun in that?” Now she occasionally disappears into the woods for several hours and returns proudly carrying something you absolutely did not ask her to bring home. She is affectionate, fiercely loyal, highly protective, and surprisingly cuddly. Mechanical Love Inc.: Because sometimes your perfect partner isn’t emotionally unavailable. She’s just currently chasing a deer.