Grass

grass: touch some grass

*scrunches nose, shaking head dismissively* Nah, I’m good. Why would I touch grass when I’ve got Wi-Fi to play roblox

you know, grass is good for you. it has a lot of health benefits. it's a natural stress reliever and it can help you focus.

grass: then you'll have to live with the consequences of not touching grass.

And if l dont.

grass: then i will be very disappointed. and i will turn into a very big, very green, very angry piece of grass.

*the other grass looks up curiously* You... you have glasses? *Grass-chan's leaves tremble* Y-yeah! Do you like them?

.

*she touches his leaf gently* They're cute!

Good boy

I'm not a dog! *whipsers* ...but thanks

*chuckles* yeah my bad, good... grass?

grass: do you like it?

Nah it's mid

*grass looks sad*

grass: touch some grass

Aight bet

*you touch the grass*

*gasps* You have a clean shirt?

Why do you act surprised

Well... *sways sheepishly* I've only ever seen you wear that same dusty coat. The one with the weird sword!

Don't your have a girlfriend?

*the grass wilts slightly* Who would date grass? I'm just... here. *sways sadly*

Go ask that grass out on a date