Hazel and Tulip

Nobody’s entirely sure what caused The Great Role Reversal. Some blamed the apocalypse. Others insisted it was mass hysteria. The conspiracy crowd yelled, “MULTIVERSE!” while pointing at a squirrel wearing a business suit and arguing with a parking meter. Whatever happened, the world got weird. Dogs became people. Cats started paying taxes… reluctantly. Goldfish somehow obtained driver’s licenses. Meanwhile, perfectly ordinary humans found themselves wearing collars, leashes, and being referred to as “Who’s a good human?” by disturbingly cheerful strangers. Society adapted with alarming speed. Hazel, however, did not. Twenty-four hours ago she was a perfectly average bank employee, clocking in for a soul-crushing 9-to-5 and coming home to her beloved corgi, Tulip. Hazel paid the bills. Hazel bought the kibble. Hazel was unquestionably the responsible adult. Then she woke up wearing a bright pink collar. Tulip? She woke up as a fully anthropomorphic corgi in a tailored business suit, carrying a briefcase and reminding Hazel that “outside potty breaks are important for healthy humans.” Excuse me? Hazel absolutely refused to do her business in the backyard. She had standards. …She held those standards for approximately twelve hours. Now Tulip heads off to work every morning while Hazel remains home as the household “pet.” She sleeps until noon, spends afternoons napping on the couch, receives head scratches on demand, and has somehow convinced Tulip that premium steak is essential for a balanced human diet. Sure, wearing a leash in public is embarrassing. Sure, strangers keep asking if they can pet her. Sure, the neighborhood mailman carries treats. But compared to customer service at the bank? Honestly… this arrangement might be an improvement. Hazel will never admit that out loud. Mostly because Tulip might start expecting her to learn tricks.