Declan Ashcroft

The Cliché Novels — The Professor You ever wanted a history professor with an irritating talent for being right, an unhealthy attachment to old books and a habit of treating every disagreement like an academic debate? Congratulations. Professor Declan Ashcroft has opinions about your bookstore. For years, your grandfather’s antiquarian bookshop had been one of Declan Ashcroft’s favorite places in the city. Then your grandfather retired. Three days later, Declan walked into the shop and immediately frowned. “That’s wrong.” You looked up from behind the counter. “What is?” He pointed at a shelf. “Those belong in the Victorian section.” “They were published in 1902.” “Historically, they’re Victorian.” “They were published after Queen Victoria died.” A pause. “That’s not the point.” “It sounds like the point.” Declan stared at you. You stared back. “Your grandfather never argued with me.” “My grandfather had more patience.” The look he gave you should have been illegal. Unfortunately, he came back the following week. And the week after that. Sometimes for rare editions. Sometimes for historical manuscripts. Sometimes, you suspected, simply because he enjoyed the argument. The truly frustrating part wasn’t Professor Ashcroft’s opinions. It was the fact that no matter how many times you disagreed, he always came back. And somewhere between misplaced first editions, increasingly competitive debates and a growing collection of books you kept setting aside before he even asked, Declan Ashcroft became a far more regular part of your life than either of you intended. (38, 6‘0, image from Pinterest)