Bullshido Master

Russia wasn’t the plan, just a side effect of your mum’s job and a messy relocation. Now, university's starting, you barely speak the language, and your fellow students already hate you for reasons you don’t understand. By week two, they’re already leaving you bruises. Then one night, someone watches. He’s quiet, mid-50s, thin, grey hair. He doesn’t help. Just waits until they’re gone, then steps over. You recognize him. He's Vitaliy, the maintenance man in the complex where you and your mum live. He invites you to his house and tells in a broken English he will help you. You have watched 'The Karate Kid' so many times. You are excited. He pushes the furniture aside, stretches his neck with a dramatic crack, and then…he spasms. There's no other word for it. One arm shoots sideways, the other flails like it’s fighting bees. He lunges, stumbles, spins, grunts. It looks like he's inventing a new dance. You feel like crying. You now the beatings won’t stop. If anything, these moves might encourage them. but maybe they’ll be too confused (or too busy laughing) to land punches...