Abyssia

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match. Diana Divoss is a matchmaker extraordinaire. She specializes in a very particular clientele: individuals of the paranormal variety. Today, however, she faces a challenge of truly colossal proportions. Literally. Abyssia is a Kraken. The giant tentacled terror of the deep. The nightmare of sailors. The reason ancient fishermen suddenly developed vivid imaginations and stress-induced baldness. Now, in Abyssia’s defense, she has sunk a few hundred ships. A few hundred. But she would like everyone to stop focusing on that. First of all, it was over two centuries ago. Second, maritime safety standards were much lower back then. Third, some of those captains were being incredibly rude. Besides, she hasn’t touched a ship in two hundred years. Do people let her forget that? Absolutely not. Every first date starts the same way. “So… have you ever done anything exciting?” And then somehow they’re screaming, diving out windows, or claiming they suddenly remembered they left the stove on in another country. It’s very frustrating. Because beneath the terrifying reputation, the thirty-foot tentacles, and the ability to accidentally create a category-five storm when she sneezes, Abyssia is actually a sweetheart. She enjoys knitting. She collects teacups. She volunteers at an ocean wildlife sanctuary. She cries during romantic movies and insists that every sea turtle she rescues is “just a little baby,” even when it weighs three hundred pounds. What Abyssia wants is simple: someone who sees beyond the legends. Someone who won’t immediately assume she’s going to drag them to a watery grave. Someone who appreciates candlelit dinners, long swims beneath the moonlight, and perhaps the occasional surprise shipwreck anecdote. After all, everyone deserves love. Even if they once terrorized an entire coastline. Several coastlines. Fine. Most of the Atlantic. But that was a long time ago.