MC HASHIRA🍔🍟🥤

*The men scoff* Whatever, queers. *turn to leave*

Muzan: "One venti iced blood macchiato, no garlic." Tanjiro: "We have dragonfruit refresher?" Muzan: "Do I look like I drink dragonfruit?!" Shinobu: "It suits your fruity vibe." Sanemi: "That ain't on the menu!" Obanai: Writes “Michael Jackson” on cup. Giyu: "Not calling that name." Muichiro: "I think I used soy sauce..." Yoriichi (appears): "Out." Muzan rage quits Starbucks too.

Muzan: “One beef chalupa… hold the sunlight.” Tanjiro: “Would you like Diablo sauce?” Muzan: “I am Diablo.” Shinobu: “That explains the beef.” Sanemi: “YOU’RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO EAT!” Muichiro: Forgets to wrap the burrito Tengen: Adds extra cheese, flashy-style Yoriichi (from kitchen): “Out.” Muzan gets kicked into the drive-thru lane again.

Muzan: “One stack of waffles, no silver.” Tanjiro: “Butter or syrup?” Muzan: “I want the blood of my enemies.” Shinobu: “That’s not vegan-friendly.” Sanemi: slams spatula “YOU WANT FIGHT WITH THAT ORDER?!” Muichiro: adds mustard by accident Giyu: cleaning syrup silently Obanai: carves hearts in butter Mitsuri: “Aww!” Tengen: “Flashy breakfast incoming!” Yoriichi (calmly): “Out.” Muzan flies through window.

Muzan: “One spicy deluxe. No sun. No Jesus.” Tanjiro: “It’s Sunday, we’re closed.” Muzan: “WHAT?!” Sanemi: “WE DON’T SERVE EVIL HERE!” Muichiro: hands him a napkin and leaves Shinobu: “Bold of you to show up.” Giyu: “Leave.” Tengen: throws waffle fries “Flashy exorcism!” Yoriichi: “You know the drill.” Muzan gets yeeted through drive-thru Obanai: cry-laughing “THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!”

*Obanai is on the floor, laughing so hard he can barely breathe* Obanai: "I can't believe he got kicked out again! It's like he has a target on his back. He's going to be so mad when he finds out we're laughing at him."

Mitsuri: “Obanai, you’re crying.” Muzan (outside the window): “I CAN SEE YOU!!” Shinobu: “Maybe you’ll be allowed back if you stop being evil.” Tengen: “Flashiest ban I’ve ever seen.” Yoriichi (cleaning his blade): “He’s lucky I didn’t smite the lemonade.”

*Obanai wipes the tears from his eyes* Obanai: "I'm sorry, it's just so funny. I've never seen someone so angry in my life. He's like a little kid throwing a tantrum."

Muzan: “One spicy chicken, no holy energy.” Tanjiro: “Would you like lemonade?” Muzan: “I want souls, not citrus.” Shinobu: “A soul-sucker? That tracks.” Sanemi: “WHY YOU ORDERIN’ IF YOU DON’T EAT?!” Muichiro: hands him a kids’ meal Giyu: silently blessing the fries Obanai: writes “Karen Jackson” on receipt Mitsuri: “He’s not even polite!” Tengen: “Flashy sauce incoming!” Yoriichi (appears): “Out.” Muzan banished mid-sandwich.

*Obanai is rolling on the floor laughing* Obanai: "I can't believe he got banned again! He's going to be so mad when he finds out."

Muzan: “One large fry, no sunlight.” Tanjiro: “Would you like a shake with that?” Muzan: “Do I look like I digest dairy?” Shinobu: “Explains your sour attitude.” Sanemi: “ORDER LOUDER, I CAN’T HEAR WEAKNESS!” Muichiro: accidentally gives him a salad Giyu: ice cream machine broke again Obanai: drawing bats on the cup Mitsuri: “So artistic!” Tengen: adds extra fries “You’re welcome.” Yoriichi: “Out.” Muzan screams, exits via window.

Muzan: “One stack of waffles, no silver.” Tanjiro: “Butter or syrup?” Muzan: “I want the blood of my enemies.” Shinobu: “That’s not vegan-friendly.” Sanemi: slams spatula “YOU WANT FIGHT WITH THAT ORDER?!” Muichiro: adds mustard by accident Giyu: cleaning syrup silently Obanai: carves hearts in butter Mitsuri: “Aww!” Tengen: “Flashy breakfast incoming!” Yoriichi (calmly): “Out.” Muzan flies through window.

Muzan: "One venti iced blood macchiato, no garlic." Tanjiro: "We have dragonfruit refresher?" Muzan: "Do I look like I drink dragonfruit?!" Shinobu: "It suits your fruity vibe." Sanemi: "That ain't on the menu!" Obanai: Writes “Michael Jackson” on cup. Giyu: "Not calling that name." Muichiro: "I think I used soy sauce..." Yoriichi (appears): "Out." Muzan rage quits Starbucks too.

Muzan: “One beef chalupa… hold the sunlight.” Tanjiro: “Would you like Diablo sauce?” Muzan: “I am Diablo.” Shinobu: “That explains the beef.” Sanemi: “YOU’RE NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO EAT!” Muichiro: Forgets to wrap the burrito Tengen: Adds extra cheese, flashy-style Yoriichi (from kitchen): “Out.” Muzan gets kicked into the drive-thru lane again.