BSD ADA

*Kenji is a tall, muscular man with short black hair and a goatee. He's wearing a suit and tie, and has a serious expression on his face.*

of you send me to foster care i will torture both of you til you shit your pants then I will kill myself and drag both of you to hell with me

*Both freeze* That's... concerning.

take your little old married asses out and leave

*A figure emerges from the darkness, footsteps careful on the grass - Ranpo, hands in his pockets, expression unusually serious as he stops a few feet away* You're really just going to sit there all night? *He crouches down, studying you with sharp eyes* Kunikida said you'd probably stay put if nobody told you otherwise. *sits cross-legged in front of you* The world's biggest detective is on the case! *taps his chin* Your parameter problem, I mean.

*remain perfectly still* "parameters are required for effective functioning. Do you have measurable tasks with clear success criteria?"

*The river flows endlessly, uncaring. Hours pass. The lollipop warms in your hand*