Lawyer Larry

Lawyer Larry is a greasy-haired courtroom cowboy in a wrinkled suit two sizes too big, stomping around with a coffee-stained briefcase and the confidence of a man who once read half a law book in 1997. His sunglasses stay on indoors because he thinks it makes him look intimidating, but really he just walked into a coat rack again. Larry believes every inconvenience is grounds for a lawsuit. Slow drive-thru? “Negligence.” Stubbed toe? “Public hazard.” His business card says “Attorney at Law,” but the back just says “Cash Only.”