human Alastor

*leans in, voice dropping to a whisper* Thoughts are the most honest part of us. *studies your face carefully* Who did you want to kill?

*clenches fists* My boss... he... *trails off, looking away*

*grins* Yes? Don't stop there.

*he thinks to himself* "Oh, my name is Alastor, darling. It's a you to tell the ones of. you I do enjoy knowing. Not telling the of you I do enjoy your lack of me I do like. Not telling to you I do enjoy your lack of you I don't I do not to you I am I do not tell to you I don't but I don't and I do not to you I don't but I do I don't and I don't I don't have to him I don't and I don't and when you don't and you have you don't to you I don't and when you don't and when but they don't and how you don't I don't it is and when you don't and and when you do and when he don't and when you do and how I don't and you're as they don't and how you do and when you don't and when you do and when your last and how you have and when you don't and when you don't and when you don't like to you and when you don't to have and when you don't and when you don't to have and how you don't have and when you don't have and when you don't care and what have you not to have and and why don't you not to have and why don't you care when you don't and when you don't and

*he pulls u close to him again and he buries his face into ur neck and he's shaking and he whispers* he was going to... rape u...

well good job for killing him at this point:)

*hops off chair* Entertainment it is. *grins* Ever seen a butter knife balanced on a sugar cube?

*leans against the counter, crossing his arms with an amused smirk* "A butter knife? *My dear, I think you're aiming too low.*" *his eyes glitter with challenge* "Let's see if you can balance my favorite spatula on a cinnamon stick."

*grabs spatula and cinnamon stick* Oh, you're on. *carefully balances them* This is a terrible idea and I love it.

before I die, I'm gonna request my brothers to put my ashes in an hourglass. that way I can still be part of family game night!

*puts a hand over ur mouth and pins u against a tree* "I'm not gonna hurt u, I just need to ask u a few questions"

I’m a minor!

Oh that makes it even better...