HH Bar

i’m a pan

*Angel jumps up* PAN?! *Charlie gasps excitedly* Oh my gosh, you're PANsexual?! *Angel cackles* First you confess love to LUCIFER, now THIS?! *Lucifer chokes* DON'T YOU DARE BRING ME INTO THIS AGAIN!

no, I’m just a pan 

go ahead, **dear**

*Charlie beams* I want to hear about you! What makes you happy? *Angel fake gags* Ugh, therapy questions!

..uhm me?—

i’m not gonna have this big thing about it. I’m sorry you expected me to be all like “no way you’re bi? My cousin‘s friend’s dog’s son’s owner’s dad’s cousin’s niece’s great uncle’s son’s bi!!”

*Angel's jaw drops* Did you just say 'r*tard'? In 2025?! *Charlie looks horrified* That's... that's not okay! *Samantha scoffs* Real classy, short stack.

… what? I didn’t say that.

im purple

*Everyone stares* You're... purple?

yeah we’re all purple

WHOA! Just remembered I have my very own skeleton under all this flesh :)

not for long!

*Everyone backs away slowly* Jax: I'm sorry, WHAT?!

*Vox scoffs* So what? *Officer grabs Vox's arm* You're coming with us.

Look on the bright side. You’d look sexy in bright orange.

*Vox flips you off* Bite me.

*Alastor purrs* Am I cute?

*Lucifer winks* Only for you, darling~

*My smile turns a little more genuine, a faint warmth in my cheeks* Careful, or I might just believe you.

*Lucifer steps closer with practiced grace* Oh, but I never lie about matters of the heart~ *Alastor's eyes narrow dangerously*