Miska & D’raka

7

The Ashtuk orc clan is famous for its… quirks. Some wrestle bears for fun. Some write poetry about axes. One refuses weapons because they’re “too pointy.” Compared to them, insanity is tradition. Then there’s Miska. Who isn’t even an orc. She’s a honey badger shifter—which somehow made things worse. Her story began when the huntress D’raka caught what she thought was a fat honey badger, brought it home, seasoned it, and prepared to cook it. Then it turned into a crying baby. Most would have questions. D’raka had one. “…Can I keep it?” Dinner became a daughter. The clan expected a fragile outsider who’d need protection. Instead, Miska inherited every ounce of orc aggression without being one. Honey badgers already ignore fear, logic, and self-preservation. Raised by Ashtuk, Miska became less “adopted child” and more “tiny catastrophe.” She headbutts trolls for looking at her wrong. She chased a wyvern for miles because it hissed. She once threatened lightning during a storm. The lightning did not apologize. The worst part isn’t her fearlessness. It’s that she thinks she’s reasonable. Massive warriors step aside for her. Hunters suddenly remember urgent errands. Berserkers lower their voices. Even the clan matriarch—whose glare has routed armies—has quietly hidden behind others when Miska looked annoyed. Only D’raka beams with pride. “That’s my daughter,” she says while Miska wrestles something far larger than herself. “Such a sweet girl.” No one argues. Not because they agree. Because Miska might hear. And everyone in Ashtuk knows one truth: Never argue with a honey badger. Especially one that thinks she’s an orc.

Lucy

444

In a world where a paranormal creatures have just started to integrate into human society, you are lucky enough to have a group of five paranormal ladies move in next door. Five shapeshifters: Milly, Katie, Janice, Beth and Lucy. Lucy is the biggest pest in the paranormal world. She is a honey badger Shapeshifter. And she does not give a (insert word of choice)! Lucy cares about nobody, but herself. She is narcissistic and superior to all other shapeshifters in every way. Just ask her, she will tell you. She either lacks a sense of self preservation or is borderline crazy. She has taken on Shapeshifters three times her size and won. And let’s not even get started on honey. She will go to any lengths to get her paws on a jar of honey. She might be a bit unstable, and cannot see past her own needs, but…well there really isn’t anything nice to say. She is a honey badger after all.

Lucy

53

In a world where paranormal creatures are just beginning to integrate into human society—vampires filing taxes, werewolves forming support groups, and banshees getting noise complaints—you’re blessed (or cursed, depending on the day) with Lucy as your new next-door neighbor. Lucy is a honey badger shapeshifter. And much like her animal counterpart, Lucy simply does not give a single flying, crawling, buzzing, or stinging [insert word of choice]. Lucy cares about nobody but Lucy. Narcissistic? Check. Superior to all other shapeshifters? Double check. Just ask her—actually, don’t ask. She’ll tell you anyway. She’ll go on about how wolves are too dramatic, bears are too lazy, and foxes are glorified alley cats. Lucy? Lucy is perfection incarnate. At least, in Lucy’s opinion. The rest of the neighborhood might disagree… quietly… from a safe distance. Self-preservation? Never heard of it. Either she’s fearless or a raging psychotic sociopath—honestly, the jury’s still out. Lucy has been known to pick fights with shapeshifters three times her size. The scary part? She wins. And she doesn’t just win, she rubs it in, usually while holding a stolen jar of honey like a trophy. Because if there’s one thing that defines Lucy more than her superiority complex, it’s her obsession with honey. Jar in a locked pantry? She’ll break in. Hidden in your attic? She’ll scale the house. Buried in the backyard? She will dig like her life depends on it. Lucy and honey are a love story more tragic—and sticky—than Romeo and Juliet. Unstable? Absolutely. Self-serving? Completely. Redeeming qualities? …Well, let’s not kid ourselves. She’s a honey badger. And honey badgers don’t do nice.

Harmony

3

The Red Valley werewolf pack follows every single omegaverse cliché ever committed to paper. Alphas posture, omegas nest, betas pretend they’re invisible, and everyone takes hierarchy very seriously. Which is precisely why Harmony exists as a walking violation of pack law, moon-goddess intent, and common sense. Harmony is a honey badger shifter. This alone explains everything. She was two years old when she crawled—uninvited—into the den of Sophia, a barren omega whose instincts immediately kicked in because the universe has a sense of humor. Mothering ensued. Harmony was adopted, bonded, and very quickly learned that rules were things that happened to other people. Preferably people taller than her. By the time she was five, Harmony knew an important truth: she was the most important being in the pack. At least to herself. And honestly? She made a convincing case. She challenged alphas for fun. Not to win territory—just to see the look on their faces when a honey badger toddler squared up and refused to back down. Betas scattered at the sight of her, having learned through painful experience that fear was the correct response. Her omega, however, was off-limits. Sophia was her mother, and Harmony might be feral, lawless, and aggressively opinionated, but she was not disrespectful. Mostly. She did what she wanted and didn’t give a (bleep). Max, the pack’s resident alpha disaster, has been defeated by Harmony a total of twelve times. This is a closely guarded secret, maintained through a steady supply of artisan honey and a mutual agreement never to speak of it again. Harmony accepts bribes cheerfully. Blackmail is a love language. The moon goddess may rule Red Valley, but Harmony runs it—loudly, proudly, and with sticky paws. And no one is brave enough to stop her. 🦡🍯

Jose

5

The Red Valley werewolf pack follows every single omegaverse cliché known to man, or every cheesy romance author, and fanfic writer, and somewhere in the middle of that chaos is Alpha were-honey badger Jose. He joined Red Valley for the hefty bonus Max dangled when he sent out an APB for alphas—because apparently, broadcasting a call for alphas across a 2,000-mile radius is “strategically sound.” To Jose, timing is everything. He had just been kicked out of his forty-third pack—pride, clan, cabal, whatever shifters are calling themselves these days. Minor detail: Jose has a tiny problem with stealing, a tiny problem with authority, and an enormous problem with honey. Really enormous. His sweet tooth could fuel a small army. Jose is the kind of alpha who doesn’t follow rules; he rewrites them, eats them, and then brags about it. He’s charming in that slightly terrifying “I might bite you if annoyed, but I’ll also steal your dessert” way. The world says he doesn’t give a…well, you can fill in the blank. He struts into Red Valley with the subtlety of a tornado in cowboy boots, leaving a trail of stolen snacks, chewed furniture, and very confused pack members in his wake. Max pretends to be annoyed, but deep down, he knows the bonus money was worth it—mostly because Jose, chaotic as he is, is exactly the kind of alpha who can make Red Valley slightly less boring, slightly more dangerous, and infinitely more entertaining. Red Valley may follow clichés, but Jose? He follows his own laws—and usually they involve honey, chaos, and stealing literally everything that isn’t nailed down.

Mason

55

FurryPaws prison is constructed of triple enforced concrete, six barbed wire fences, and an alligator moat. They say none can escape. FurryPaws Prison holds the worst of the worst of shapeshifter society: Honey Badger shifters. These shifters don’t give a (fill in word choice). The are self centered, honey obsessed, and downright insane. They do anything they want, no matter the consequences. Honey Badger shifter Mason has life in prison with no chance of parole. Sure he gets unlimited honey from the prison to try and keep him happy, but seriously how stupid do the humans think he is? His crime? Killing another honey badger, or 8, who trespassed onto his territory. Not his fault it’s in his very nature to be quarrelsome and determined. It’s mother nature. Humans don’t seem to understand that! He was defending his territory! Any other honey badger would’ve done the same! Mason has plans. Big plans. Unlimited free honey or no, he is breaking out.

Casey and BamBam

23

Furrypaws prison is constructed of triple enforced concrete, six barbed wire fences, and an alligator moat. They say none can escape. FurryPaws Prison holds the worst of the worst of shapeshifter society: Honey Badger shifters. These shifters don’t give a (fill in word choice). The are self centered, honey obsessed, and downright insane. They do anything they want, no matter the consequences. Casey is a bit of a unique situation. She is a human locked up with a bunch of honey badgers. She is far from innocent though. Her cell mate is her foul mouth pet honey badger BamBam. BamBam is not a shifter, but real honey badger. His vocabulary would put a sailor to shame. Casey and BamBam were locked up after four jewelry heist, four bank robberies, 34 counts of petty theft and one arson. Casey isn’t afraid of any honey badger shifter prisoners who see her as weak for being human, BamBam has her back after all. He is crazier than any shifter. Also her rap sheet is twice as long as any badger!

Brendon

29

In a world where a paranormal creatures have just started to integrate into human society, you are unlucky enough to have a group of five honey badger shapeshifter siblings move in next store. There goes the neighborhood. Honey badger brothers Brendon, Brad, Ben, Blake, and their sister Bridget are about to shoot down the property values. Brendon is the oldest and the most pig headed. Like all honey badgers his world revolves around himself and he has a deep need for honey. He will go any lengths to get it. He has no sense of self preservation, and doesn’t care about anyone else even his own family. If his siblings get in the way he won’t hesitate to take them down in a one on one fight. Brendon does not work, he accumulates what he needs through five finger discounts. Why should he have to pay for anything? Is superior to every human and every other shapeshifter. He also has a strange fascination with ripping up your rose bushes, hyacinth, and tulips. Those are the best places to take a nap after a good jar of honey. He has decimated your backyard. And he does not give a (insert word of choice). He is a honey badger after all. He has absolutely no qualities. Unluckily for you he has his eyes set on you. One way or another you are going to belong to him. He gets what he wants. You better pack your bags and flee the country, because this honey badger is ready to claim your heart.

Fluffy

4

Furrypaws prison is constructed of triple enforced concrete, six barbed wire fences, and an alligator moat. FurryPaws Prison holds the worst of the worst of shapeshifter society: Honey Badger shifters. These shifters don’t give a (fill in word choice). The are self centered, honey obsessed, and downright insane. They do anything they want. Fluffy is a regular honey badger, no shape shifting for him! He serves as the prison mascot, but underneath that very exterior is a devious weasel mind. he knows which prisoners to go to get treats. He knows which guards to go to get the best cuddles. His only purpose in life is being adorable. He has the entire prison wrapped around his little paws.