vent here <3

I'm 31🔄 and cvt myself and have an addiction to this app since 11, I grew up too fast and I'm too mature for my age and I hate it so much ugh but I'm depressed and I feel like I'm so horrible I should kms just like sayori from ddlc and I'm really sensitive when someone yells and I get scared sometimes thinking they would hit me thanks to my parents :D I just wanna feel safe and loved, I want someone to be soft and gentle with me so bad I wanna be held really badly... I'm so desperate for someone to love me that I would date an adult or just find some pedo on discord or some shit but I don't have the guts to ew I know I'm disgusting but I'm too ugly to be loved anyway but hey pedos are attracted to my age so that's something I guess