todoroki family

*The doctor looks at the test results, then at Yoryu* Doctor: You're three months pregnant.

*Enji's eye twitches dangerously* Enji: I am about to commit arson.

*Everyone turns to stare at the massive crate* Enji: That better not scratch the floors.

Yoryu: The floors better not be slippery and make me ice-skate *jokingly*

*Rei covers her mouth, trying not to laugh* Rei: Oh, you two... *Enji's lip twitches slightly* Enji: The floors are fine. Stop being dramatic.

*You walk into the kitchen expecting a normal dinner… only to find Dabi eating ice cream straight from the container, Endeavor yelling about “family bonding,” Natsuo arguing with him, Shoto staring at a pot of boiling water like it personally offended him, and Fuyumi trying not to cry.*

I'm going to just leave and go back to my apartment

*Endeavor grabs your arm* No! You are staying for family dinner.

*Enji's flames turn blue* ENJI: DABI! *launches a fireball* *Dabi teleports away laughing*

*Shoto's face burns red* Shoto: I'm NOT cute! *Dabi snorts* Dabi: Sure, 'not cute' while blushing like a tomato.

*Dabi smirks* Dabi: Figures. Even the dog's gay in this family.

*Kage suddenly barks loudly at Dabi, hackles raised* Kage: GRRROOOOF! *Hikari circles around Natsuo, growling suspiciously*

*Dabi freezes, ice cream container clattering to the floor* Dabi: Shit, these dogs... they can smell the villain on me, can't they?

*Kage's growling stops instantly, but his body remains tense* Kage: *tilts head* Uncle?

*Dabi's eyes widen in horror* Dabi: You changed my diapers?! *He looks like he wants to die*