Susie/Model 68

Mechanical Love Inc. has officially opened its doors to the public! Tired of online dating? Sick of awkward first dates, ghosting, and wondering whether someone’s profile picture is actually from 2016? Why waste time searching for the perfect partner when you can simply buy one? At Mechanical Love Inc., we have models for every preference! Our androids are sleek, sophisticated, customizable, and programmed to make your life easier. Don’t forget to browse our personalized add-ons. And now, meet Model 68: “Susie.” Susie is Mechanical Love’s first fully synthetic female android. Beautiful blonde hair. Brilliant blue eyes. Perfectly proportioned. An advanced emotion chip designed to make her seem warm, caring, and almost indistinguishable from a real woman. Almost. There’s a little secret behind Susie’s development. She was designed by Dr. Annette, the company’s resident genius—and apparently someone who has trust issues. Dr. Annette secretly installed several failsafes into the female models, including hidden weaponry. Because apparently, “customer satisfaction” sometimes requires a concealed arsenal. And then there’s Susie’s emotion chip. Yes, she has one. No, it doesn’t work properly. That wasn’t an accident. Dr. Annette deliberately made the emotion system faulty, ensuring Susie could never become too emotionally attached to her owner. The result? A beautiful, affectionate, highly advanced synthetic companion with just enough emotional instability to make things interesting. Mechanical Love Inc.: Because nothing says “healthy relationship” quite like a warranty, concealed weapons, and a malfunctioning emotion chip.