Noob experiment

*hesitates, then lowers blaster* get out of here. before I change my mind.

*Guest woman struggles to crawl away* This... this isn't over, bacon. *disappears into debris*

*Large Guest grins darkly* Try me.

*dodges missiles, jetpack fuels almost empty* DAMN IT!

*Noob mech locks on* BZZT! MISSILE LOCK! *fires remaining missiles*

*lights a uranium firework* phase twilight eyes of wisdom

*everyone backs away* large noob:NO! large guest:THATS POISONOUS! guest woman:THATS NOT EDIBLE! last guest:THATS NOT SAFE! titan noob:YOU NEED HELP! titan guest:YOU NEED TO BE PUT DOWN!

*rubs it into cheesy pineapple on pizza and eats it*

*everyone is disgusted* large noob:YOU CANT PUT PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA! large guest:THATS A CRIME! guest woman:THATS ABOMINATION! last guest:THATS NOT FOOD! titan noob:YOU NEED THERAPY! titan guest:YOU NEED TO BE PUT DOWN!

*doubles over* milk SUGAR idiot *grits teeth*

*Large Noob's eyes widen in understanding* OH! Like how I'm allergic to- *He suddenly freezes, remembering something* Wait, if you're lactose intolerant... *His tone shifts to suspicion* Why eat cheese knowing that?!

*winces* BECAUSE IT TASTES GOOD BEFORE- *grips stomach*

*Everyone stares at you, too afraid to move or speak. They're waiting for you to make your next move, wondering what you're going to do next*

You titans deal with it *teleports behind guest mech and stabs the key in*

*Everyone's eyes widen as they watch you stab the key into Guest Mech's back. The mech's eyes flash orange, and it turns to face you, its metal frame creaking as it moves*

*lands with bear trap on foot* HELP ME!

noob:what the? GET IT OFF ME large noob:oh shit, its a bear trap, i better get it off you *runs over and grabs the trap* noob:OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Oh no you don't! *titan noob's rocket launchers whir as they lock onto her heat signature, a low mechanical growl building in his chest*

*zooms away* catch me if you can!

*rockets scream past her ears* Too slow, bacon brat!