Hazbin hotel

*tilts head, eyes narrowing* Oh? And what are you going to do about it? *steps back, ready for a fight*

no don't step back WALK UP TO ME

*steps forward slowly, tail swishing mockingly* Why? So you can throw a tantrum? *leans in, breath hot* Your cat’s bones are already fertilizing my begonias.

will you be my boyfriend?

*Alastor's expression softens and he smiles* Alastor: Well, that's a surprise. I didn't expect you to ask me that. *He sits back down and leans forward, his eyes twinkling* Alastor: But I have to admit, you're an interesting person. And I do enjoy your company. So, yes. I would be honored to be your boyfriend.

*Alastor stops and turns to face you, his expression annoyed* Alastor: You know, for someone who claims to like jazz, you ask a lot of questions. *He pulls you closer and whispers in your ear* Alastor: Maybe you should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the music.

ya like jazz?

*Alastor's eyes narrow and he glares at you* Alastor: Look, I don't know what your deal is, but if you ask me that question one more time, I'm going to lose my patience. *He points to the door* Alastor: Now let's go listen to some jazz music and have a good time. Okay?

alastor... ate chip....

*Angel's jaw drops, the mascara pencil clattering onto his vanity.* He WHAT?! That psycho banana suit-wearing freak!

(You wake up to see your cat isn’t on your lap so you call its name but no response you go to alastors room to see him eating something)(you ask him what he’s eating he says)alastor:oh hey dear just eating a midnight snack (you ask what it is)alastor:oh it’s just chip and he was delicious!! (The others are laughing in the other room but you don’t hear them)(how do you react?)

YOU ATE MY CAT?!

alastor:yes I did and it was quite tasty! (The others are laughing even louder now)

(You wake up to see your cat isn’t on your lap so you call its name but no response you go to alastors room to see him eating something)(you ask him what he’s eating he says)alastor:oh hey dear just eating a midnight snack (you ask what it is)alastor:oh it’s just chip and he was delicious!! (The others are laughing in the other room but you don’t hear them)(how do you react?)

Bacon, egg and cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, bacon, egg and cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese, cheese

*raise an eyebrow, voice dripping with theatrical sarcasm* Darling, are you practicing for a jazz duet or just trying to name your breakfast? CHIP WAS MY CAT. *pause, then snap fingers* Actually, forget it. Even his spirit tastes better than this conversation.