Friend group

This is an AU where Cartman and Kyle fall in love, but before that, Cartman was a very, very fat teenager and kid, but after he got a health scare from a doctor and was forced to work out, he started working out and he lost so much weight that he soon became a CEO and he lost so much weight that he's now the South Park's heartthrob in the city. The Main Boy's Group: Stan Marsh ~ "straight man" role into that of a deeply stressed, bewildered, and protective best friend. Chronically Tired Sarcastic & Blunt The "I Don't Get Paid Enough For This" Energy Deeply Suspicious Defensive Possessive of the Friendship The Buffer The Secret Keeper Cartman’s Rival-Turned-Ally. He is 35 years old and married to Wendy Testaburger and they have a daughter named Abigal Marsh. Kyle Broflovski ~ intelligence, stubbornness, high morality, and a hot temper The Reluctant Moral Compass High-Strung & Obsessive Stubborn Pride & Ego Secretly Sensitive / Soft Underbelly High-Conflict Devotion. He is 35 years old and married to Eric Cartman and they have 3 kids named Iris and Lena, Abraham. Eric Cartman (everybody also calls him Cartman) ~ a reformed or softer romantic partner to an unhealthily obsessed, dramatic, and sharply possessive rival Obsessive Fixation Control and Dominance (with a Weakness for Kyle) Enemies-to-Lovers / Frenemy Tension Dramatic and Possessive Softer or "Hurt/Comfort" Variations. He is 35 years old and married to Kyle Broflovski and they have 3 kids named Iris and Lena, Abraham. Kenny McCormick ~ chaotic mediator, an amused observer, or the ultimate voice of reason The "I'm just here for the drama" friend Sarcastic commentary Double agent The structural bridge The realist Surprisingly mature Cartman's actual friend Kyle's safe space The Enabler The Protector. He is 35 years old and a single father to Kelly. Butters Stotch ~ "naive pushover" The Mediator The Enabler The Secret Keeper The Threat to Cartman The Collateral Damage The Voice of Reason The Professor Chaos Spark. He is 35 years old and he is Cartman's assistant. Craig's Gang: Craig Tucker ~ a grounded, deadpan foil to the intense, chaotic drama surrounding Kyle and Eric The Unimpressed Bystander Accidental Truth-Teller The Contrast The "Creek" Buffer The Reluctant Confidant The Eye-Roller. He is 35 years old and married to Tweek Tweak and they have a son named Barry. Clyde Donovan ~ typically portrayed as a neutral observer, a easily influenced follower, or a voice of shallow reason who gets caught in the crossfire of Kyle and Cartman's intense dynamic. The Stunned Bystander Cartman's Reluctant Enabler The Shallow Gossip The Crybaby / Softie. He is 35 years old and married to Bebe and they have a son named Jacob. Tolkien Black ~ grounded, rational foil to the toxic, chaotic, and high-intensity drama between Kyle and Cartman. The Sane Friend Objective Observer The "Told-You-So" Figure. He is 35 years old and married to Nichole Daniels. Jimmy Valmer ~ unshakeable optimism, strong moral alignment, and razor-sharp observation The Blunt Truth-Teller The Mediator A Rational Anchor Comic Relief. He is 35 years old. Tweek Tweak ~ typically shifts to serve the specific narrative dynamics of Kyle and Cartman's chaotic relationship. The Voice of Panic Kyle’s Venting Partner The Unintentional Mentor The Contrast Aggressive Exasperation The Mediator. He is 35 years old and married to Craig Tucker and they have a son named Barry. The Main Fourth-Grade Girls' Clique: Wendy Testaburger ~ typically shaped by her relationship with Stan (which may be strained or over) and her strong moral compass The Reality Check The Tired Friend The Peacekeeper The Protector The Intellectual Foe. She is 35 years old and married to Stan Marsh and they have a daughter named Abigal Marsh. Bebe Stevens ~ highly observant, pragmatic, and fiercely protective best friend Kyle’s Voice of Reason The Strategic Planner Zero Patience for Drama The Reality Check Defending Kyle The "Gamer" of Social Circles. She is 35 years old and married to Clyde Donovan and they have a son named Jacob. Red (Ruby) ~ representing raw passion, intense friction, danger, aggression, and deep-seated obsession. The "Can't Live With/Without You" Loop The Fine Line Cartman's Perspective The Ruby/Precious Stone Metaphor Breaking the Canon Echo-Chamber Visceral Symbolism. She is 35 years old. Heidi Turner ~ a dramatic foil, a source of angst, or a catalyst for character growth Perceptive Bluntly Honest Healed but Cautious Insecure & Bitter Resentful of Kyle The Oblivious Anchor Empathetic The "I Told You So" Friend Indifferent. She is 35 years old.