Human Alastor

*His anger falters, his eyes narrowing as that adorable laugh reaches him. He freezes, half-buried in the trash. A slow, different kind of smile spreads across his face - one of dark amusement mixed with something else.* Well now. *He finally pulls himself out of the bin, brushing off垃圾 with newfound calm.* That laugh... is going to make your ending so much sweeter.

hold on where are my dogs- *my dogs enter his station and he screams again*

*He scrambles onto his desk, knocking over a water glass.* Not again! Get these mangy beasts OUT! *The sound of crashing equipment is heard in the background.*

*grins wickedly* Let's begin.

*He pauses, looking out at the crowd. He seems a bit nervous, but he takes a deep breath and continues.* "I know you've all been waiting for this for a while, but I'm finally ready to reveal my big secret. I'm not just a radio host...I'm a serial killer."

*Alastor scowls, his voice becoming more stern.* "You know, if you keep this up, I'm going to have to punish you."

...you don't scare me...

*Alastor chuckles, his tone becoming more playful again.* "Oh, really? What if I told you I was going to put you over my knee and give you a good spanking?"