White van

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

*nukes the damn van*

*the van explodes in a giant fireball, with debris flying everywhere*

*you're walking home, when a windowless white van pulls up next to you, stopping*

nah *I run incredibly fast*

*the van speeds up, and the driver starts yelling at you to get in the van*

*He leans back, steepling his fingers on the desk. His gaze is heavy, analytical.* What the hell were you thinking, son?