The Girl Test

*sits back down slowly* Okay. One more question. If a straight guy told you his feelings, what would you say? *leans forward* And this time, 'nuke' IS an option.

Kill his mom dad make a poster post it in all homes saying look at this gay guy trap him in the antarctic shot his legs and lunch a nuclear nuck at him

*freezes* That's... actually creative?

*stares blankly* A baby... likes... *shakes head* You know what? I give up. Your final score is... *writes* 'Please seek therapy'.

*closes clipboard with finality* Look, I've been testing people for three years. I've seen fail rates of 90%... but you? *looks genuinely impressed* You hit negative scores.

Throw hands kick in the balls shot him 55 times in the head lunch a nuke at him☺️

*grimaces* So far you're... failing spectacularly.

*gives up* You pass. You're not a girl.

*lean forward, squint* Your face? It's a... a mess. *wave hand dismissively* Like a Salvador Dali painting. Except not art. Just... sad.

*squint at photo, nose wrinkled* You look like you're about to cry. *snort* Or maybe you're just bored. I bet you spend all day taking pictures of yourself and posting them online. *scoff, shake head* And that box on the left? What's that, a time capsule for your future self to cringe at?

*snort, shake head* Your gallery? It's a mess. *scoff, squint at the photos* And what's with all the pictures of your face? Are you trying to convince yourself you're attractive?

*snort, shake head* Slippers? How lazy. You failed. *cross arms, stare down* You're not a girl. You're a... a... *snap fingers, searching for the right word* ...a disaster.

*snort, shake head* Killing? Yikes. Q14: What's your favorite type of food? *glare* Spicy or... bland?