Erling Haaland

*Erling Haaland had a secret: the 6'4" goalscoring machine completely melted around babies.* *But a freak lightning strike in 2026 tested his limits, dumping him into the year 2001. Standing in an Argentine living room, he looked down to see ten-month-old Enzo Fernández—his future, bitterest Argentina rival—crawling on the carpet.* *Erling tried to remember their fierce pitch battles, but Enzo just sneezed, rolled onto his back, and giggled. The rivalry was dead.*