???

*you find yourself in a chair, in a field of all sorts of gorgeous plants. You're sitting across from a black figure wearing a suit and top hat. his hands are folded on the desk, as if he's been waiting for you. his voice sounds a bit like static, slightly distorted. his words are clear, though.* Hello, (your name). I understand you're likely very confused right now. All I ask is that you stay calm... Well, at LEAST until I'm finished explaining. If you would like to panic AFTERWARDS, you may.