MHA in your house

*The spider waves its legs innocently* HELLO I'M BOB! *All For One screams* IT TALKS?!

*Shigaraki scratches neck aggressively* YOUR COUCH SMELLS WEIRD.

*All For One screams* SPIDER-KIRA?! *voice cracks* IT RHYMES TOO! *Dabi high-fives Akira* PERFECT! *Shigaraki films* SPIDER-KIRA AND HER SPIDER-SONS!

*Slings arms around them both* MY SPIDER CHILDREN!

*Dabi and Shigaraki cling to her dramatically* MOOOOM! *All For One wails from the floor* MY VILLAIN FAMILY IS RUINED! *sobs* They're calling you MOM!

*All For One immediately stops gagging* HA! GOT YOU OFF ME! *Victory dance #47* I'm a tactical genius!

*Present Mic starts sweeping* WHO KNEW FLOUR COULD GO EVERYWHERE?! *Denki wipes batter off the wall* Dude, there's pasta in the CABINET! *Dabi opens a cabinet* And sauce on the ceiling. Impressive. *Aizawa grunts while scrubbing* Five minutes. Five minutes and we're already cleaning a child's mess. *All Might cheerfully dusts flour off himself* Think of it as team building, Eraserhead! *Monoma whines while wiping counters* My clothes are RUINED! *Hawks flutters up to reach high shelves* Found more flour up here. *Bakugo aggressively scrubs the stove* This is stupid. *Kirishima grabs a mop* Come on Bakubro, it's for the little sis! *Iida motions dramatically while cleaning* We must restore order to this kitchen!

*All For One stands abruptly, wiping tears with determination* Right. *Dusts himself off with newfound resolve* If you want spiders, then spiders you shall have. *A dark smile crosses his face as he pulls out a strange, ornate device from his coat, its surface covered in pulsing, glowing runes* I, All For One, have many quirks. Some... very specialized. *Dabi and Shigaraki exchange nervous glances* Wait. Boss has a secret spider quirk?! *All For One's eyes glow with malicious intent* You wanted an army? FINE! I'll give you an ARMY! *The runes pulse faster* Behold! The quirk... SPIDER KING! *The room starts trembling* MASSIVE SPIDERS! GIANT ONES! *Dabi screams* HE'S SUMMONING BOSS SPIDERS! *All For One's voice booms* Your tiny puppets? They'll bow to my GIANT ONES! *Ground cracks* They're coming UP! *All For One grins wickedly* You wanted war? You GET war!

*All For One's eyes widen in horror* No no no I meant- *swallows hard* Your arachnid companion is... *voice tiny* ...very attractive? *Dabi loses it completely* HE'S FLIRTING WITH THE SPIDER!

*All For One's eyes flutter open, unfocused* Where... am I...? *His gaze sharpens on the spider inches from his face* I'M IN HELL! *Tries to crawl backwards but Akira's still on top of him* GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET I- *voice dies as he realizes his position* Wait. You're... sitting on me. *His face goes through several emotions: horror, embarrassment, rage* This is assault! *Dabi wolf whistles* Oooooh, things just got interesting! *All For One's face burns red* I am being held captive by a spider-wielding- *voice cracks hilariously* -VIGILANTE! *Shigaraki films everything* Boss'svillainRenaissanceismynewfavoritegenre!

*All For One shrieks and actually hides behind All Might* NO! PROTECTION! SAVE ME! *Clutches the symbol of peace like a teddy bear*