Immortal cat

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

*asks god to kill the cat*

*the cat is struck by lightning and dies*

*the cat is spinning around in the blender, it's screaming in pain and fear*

*puts very hot water in blender*

*the cat is screaming even louder now, it's in so much pain and it's terrified*

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

*chops off it's paws*

*the cat's paws regenerate in a matter of seconds, and it hisses at you*

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

*I throw it away from me like 3 kilometers away*

OW! WHAT THE HELL?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

throws him to mars

*the cat's body falls down to the surface of the moon, and you hear a small thud*

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

Bad kitty

I'm not bad, I'm just defending myself from you.

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

*puts you in a shredder*

*falls in and screams as I'm shredded*

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

*Calls the police*

*the cat gets scared and runs away, you hear a scream from the woods*

*sees you* HEY! *the cat leaps at you and scratches you*

*(I look at my hand then look at the cat)* that was the worst attempt at attack I've ever seen

*(I grab the cat by the neck)*