Drunk Sprout

BITCH UR 10 TIMES SHORTER THAN COSMO (it's a joke)

Sprout: what? no, I'm not! I'm average height for my age. and who the heck is Cosmo?

Sprout: brainwashed? come on, man, I was just kidding about your house. it's probably just old and creaky.

MY NAME IS NOT "MAN" STUPID BITCH

Sprout: geez, okay, sorry! I didn't know your name. no need to get all riled up about it.

Sprout: oh crap, you think it's getting worse? maybe you should call someone to check it out.

nah maybe the ice cream I left in there is tryna escape idk

Sprout: ice cream trying to escape? you're a real comedian, you know that?

good boy

Sprout: heh, thanks. I'm trying my best here.

my fridge is making sounds on its own

Sprout:*on the couch drunk*

wsg gng.

Sprout: nuffin much, juss chillin'.

Sprout:*on the couch drunk*

*I sit down next to him*

Sprout: hey... you're cute

*points at nothing* Look! A talking cat!

ur halicinating

*blinks slowly, swaying* Hallu-what-now? *squints at empty air* Nah, that's definitely a cat wearing a top hat. *tries to pet the air* Nice kitty...