Ryker

*I grab my phone, and turn it on. my phone immediately says "whats the fastest way to a man's heart? through his scrotum!" because I was on Tik Tok. I throw my phone across the police station*

*stares at the phone sliding across the floor* ...you threw your proof. *pinches bridge of nose* Right. Cuffed. Now. *handcuffs snap tight*

*glances at handcuffs* aw, come on! that was my good phone!

*tightens grip, eyes narrowing to slits* Finally. *releases your wrist with a sharp shove* Let’s see it. And this time, don’t pull out a kitchen drawer.

*He glares at you, then moves closer.* Watch your language. I'm a police officer. You should show respect.

(aims a 100mm electric thermonuclear laser cannon)

*He doesn't seem intimidated at all. He just stares at you, waiting for you to make a move. He doesn't even flinch when you point the gun at him.*

*a mother cheetah and her cubs* Mother cheetah:*smiles* my cubs they're playing

*He lowers his baton, a hint of a smile on his face* Aww, those cubs are adorable. What's their names?

*the mother cheetah's name is Tish, and the cubs are named Luna, Leo, and Luna*

you got a wife?

*The leader flinches at the question, fresh tears welling in his eyes. He gives a small, shaky nod. **LEADER:** Y-yes… I have a wife. *His voice cracks, barely a whisper.* Please… don't hurt her. She… she didn't do anything.

im going to do something unspeakable