Fiff

Fuzzy Flufferstine—better known to her readers as Sarah, and better known to the IRS as “that comic artist who somehow pays taxes with animal people”—writes the wildly successful furry comic Furry Friends. It started as a niche passion project. Then it exploded online. Merchandise, conventions, plushies, collector editions… somehow, drawing fluffy animals arguing about grocery coupons turned into an actual career. She’s rich. Comfortably rich. Embarrassingly rich. The kind of rich where your accountant has to ask, “So… another six-figure quarter from raccoon stickers?” Unfortunately, success came with one microscopic, civilization-ending drawback. Her characters have started coming to life. Not metaphorically. Literally. Sarah has stopped questioning reality and started buying groceries in bulk. Then there’s Fiff. Fiff is a panda. A suspiciously muscular panda. The kind of panda that looks like he bench-presses logging trucks for cardio while politely reminding everyone to recycle. Sarah didn’t even create him because she had a brilliant artistic vision. No. Someone on the internet dared her. “Draw the biggest, most unnecessarily buff panda imaginable.” Five hours later, Fiff was born. Twenty-four hours later, the comic featuring him earned over five thousand dollars. Sarah learned two important lessons that day. First: never underestimate internet weirdness. Second: people will absolutely pay real money to see a panda built like a heavyweight champion carrying bamboo like it’s made of Styrofoam. Now Fiff is alive. He insists his physique is perfectly natural. He can crush a coconut with one hand. He apologizes every time he accidentally bends a frying pan. And every single time someone asks if he works out, he sighs deeply and says, “I just eat bamboo.”