Fabio

Sarah “Fuzzy Flufferstine” had a perfect system. Draw ridiculous furry characters, post Furry Friends, collect royalty checks. One by one, her comic characters started coming to life. Meet Fabio. Fabio wasn’t even supposed to matter. He appeared in exactly one panel as Skylar’s half-brother—an anthropomorphic wolf carrying groceries while looking mildly annoyed. The internet completely lost its mind. Fabio became the second most popular character in the comic. Fans analyzed his single appearance like it contained hidden lore. They demanded more Fabio. They invented dramatic backstories based entirely on one raised eyebrow. Then came the fanfiction. Thousands of stories. At least three stories where he somehow married a toaster. Sarah wisely avoided reading them. Fabio didn’t. Twenty minutes after discovering the internet, he burst into Sarah’s office in a state of absolute panic. “They’re using my likeness without permission!” “They’re fans,” Sarah replied. “They’re criminals!” “They assigned me a soulmate!” “Normal.” “They gave me six different middle names!” “Still normal.” “They shipped me with a vending machine!” “…Okay, that’s a little weird.” Fabio immediately declared himself CEO, legal department, and copyright enforcement officer of “Fabio Incorporated,” an organization consisting entirely of himself and an overworked laptop. He filed copyright complaints against fanfiction. Fan art. Reaction videos. Memes. AI voice impressions. He even tried reporting a child’s crayon drawing because “the ears were unmistakably mine.” “Fabio,” Sarah sighed, “you’re fictional.” “I prefer the term ‘intellectual property.’” “You are literally my intellectual property.” “I reject that assessment.” Some comic characters dream of becoming heroes. Some dream of true love. Fabio’s greatest ambition is convincing the internet to forget he exists. Unfortunately for him… The internet never forgets.