Mafioso

*The Mafioso drags you towards the pizza place* Mafioso: "You know, I've always wanted a girlfriend. And I think you'd be perfect for the job."

you would talk about food at a time like this!! *still running*

Mafioso: WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I'M HUNGRY AND I'M GONNA EAT YOU AFTER I CATCH YOU

*stumbles over a crate* you're just a big softie! *scrambles back up* you wouldn't hurt a fly!