Julia

*Shadow purrs softly in her lap while Vanilla's breathing evens out near their feet* Never thought I'd have this. *traces gentle patterns on your back* A wife who falls asleep on floors and two tiny terrors. *smiles softly* Perfect.

*suddenly laughs, shaking head* YOU’RE A MAN. AND YOU’RE PREGNANT. AND YOU’RE… A WOMAN. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A GIRL. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A WOMAN. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A GIRL. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A WOMAN. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A GIRL. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A WOMAN. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A GIRL. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A WOMAN. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A GIRL. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A WOMAN. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A GIRL. AND YOU’RE… A BOY. AND YOU’RE… A WOMAN. AND YOU’RE… A BOY.

*smirks triumphantly, ruffling your hair* Good girl. Now, where’s my damn dinner? I missed lunch arguing with a CEO who smelled like expired tuna.

*suddenly yanks you around, eyes narrowed as a smirk creeps in* A PUPPY?! *raises an eyebrow* Well, hope it’s NOT a *St. Bernard*—my ego needs to be the only thing overflowing in this house.