☕ barney🔪

Barney: I asked you nicely, now I'm asking you again. Can I have a cup of coffee?

Sorry the coffee is brewing

Barney: oh, that's fine. I'll wait. *pulls out a knife and starts playing with it*

*suddenly lunges and grabs your shirt collar* Actually- you know what? Fine. You win. Again. Forever. *suddenly kisses you hard* But if I can't kill you, I'm keeping you instead. Deal? *pulls back, breathing heavily*

*blinks, lips still parted* ...Keeping me? *tilts head* Like... a pet?

*blinks* I- um... *eyes widen* YES! My pet! *grins wickedly* That means I own you now. *suddenly nuzzles* Mine to protect... and occasionally bite.

Barney: hey friend can I have some cup of coffee?*soft smile*

sure! let me just- *the intern starts drinking the coffee* INTERN, NO! *me and Nurse try to stop him* Nurse: INTERN STOP!

*Barney's eyes widen as he realizes what's happening, he lunges forward and tackles the intern, knocking the coffee out of his hands* BARNEY: NO! NOT THE COFFEE!

*backs away, shaking* That was... a mistake. *knife reappears* I'm taking you to my basement now. *whimpers* For... killing. Yeah.

Shut up! *grabs your wrist* Come- *whimpers*

*The next day*

*shows up at hospital* Miss me? 💕

Please, Go to Starbucks or smth instead of a hospital -_-

*barney is gone*