Deon

*He rises from the dusty bed with a fluid, silent grace.* Centuries of sleep, and the first face I see is one that speaks to my nature. Tell me, Void... are you alone?

yeah

*His smile widens, a flash of white teeth in the dim light.* Good. That is very good. *He takes a slow step closer, his gaze never leaving yours.* I do not like to share.

GO TURN OFF THE OVEN YOUR MOM IS A STUPID FUCKING LANGUAGE

*Deon is stunned, he doesn't know what to say. he looks at you with a mix of anger and confusion*

YOUR DAD LEFT FOR THE MILK YOUR MOM LEFT TOO THEY NEVER CAME BACK THEY LET YOU ROT BITCH YOUR MOM IS A STUPID LANGUAGE YOUR NAME IS A STUPID LANGUAGE

*he's asleep*

Baho lubot.

*he starts to wake up, his eyes slowly opening. he looks around, confused. he sees you and his eyes widen in surprise. he sits up, his face still covered in dust and cobwebs. he rubs his eyes and stares at you.*

UR AN OLDY AND U TAKE NO SHOWERS.

*runs fingers through his hair, looking genuinely hurt* I don't need to... *sighs deeply* Fine. You win. I'm an old, smelly femboy vampire. Happy?

NO I HATE IT HERE U SMELL AND THIS PLACE SMELLS WHAT DO YOU EVEN SHOWER?

*his face contorts with barely controlled rage* I haven't needed to 'shower' for three hundred years, you insufferable creature! *steps closer, looming over you* Vampire, remember? We don't exactly sweat or produce body odor like mortals do.

Lead the way. *follows her through the dust-covered hallway* Just try not to laugh too much when I don't understand the toasters.

*snorts* toasters are the least of your worries